The dreaded “C” word was dropped on us recently. Yes, cancer. Colon. My husband. My ears heard the awful word from the doctor and then my body went numb. Completely numb. All-of-a-sudden, nothing really mattered except my husband’s health. Not the grocery list, not the oil change I needed to have done, not the utility bill, not even how we would make it through this financially. I wanted to say, “Sorry, I know you didn’t just say ‘cancer’. You meant another word, I’m sure.” But what came out were multiple questions and comments of disbelief. The physician so humbly and kindly said, “I’m so sorry.” What else was he supposed to say? There were no words that could take it away. I can imagine that conversation is one that he dreads and has to have more than he would like.
Trying to process, I went through every emotion possible. I’m not sure prayers were going up because I couldn’t think straight, but that would soon resolve. God used multiple friends and family members to offer supportive words of encouragement. He also used one of our sweet nurses at the hospital during my husband’s recovery from surgery to remove the cancer. She humbly told the story of her young daughter having a brain tumor and the successful recovery that followed. Having given support to others for years, I didn’t realize how powerful it was until I needed it. Prayers were going up from multiple parts of the country and I could feel the love. I finally became able to relax enough to cry. As the tears flowed, I was able to pour my heart to my God. And then the courage came. Courage that could only come from my Father. I began to put one foot in front of the other and muster up strength for my husband. After all, he is the one actually going through it, but because I love him, I feel like a part of me has it too. My prayers for healing and strength for him are intense. God only knows.
I have worked with cancer patients for years and have had friends with it. I have felt deep compassion and empathy for them. I have prayed deeply for them. I know how dreaded the diagnosis is and I have wished many times that it not curse me or my loved ones. My wish did not come true. Unfortunately, cancer does not care who it affects. It is evil incarnate.
My husband, like so many, will have chemotherapy; he has been told that the type cancer he has is treatable. We are praising God over that. I have set my eyes on the “chemo finish line” and God has given us hope through so many of His children who are on the sidelines cheering for us. They have been invaluable. They are the embodiment of strength which has helped me turn the “C” word from cancer to courage. I ask God for courage. I claim courage. I am courageous through the Spirit and I will praise God through the storm!
Hoping you are healthy and well,
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9-11
Thank you to all of our friends, family, and even some who we don’t know, who are diligently praying for healing, strength, and courage.